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The differences between men and women have been made famous by author, John Gray, in his book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Over the many years we have been selling diamonds, we have observed the difference between Martians and Venusians never greater than when it comes to a diamond purchase.

Guys listen closely and we will tell you some secrets that you need to know about Venusians if you want to thrill her with a diamond ring.

First of all Venusians are not very interested in any of the things you are, such as:

  • Certification
  • Clarity grade
  • Color grade
  • Investment value
  • Depth and table percentages
  • Cost

When it comes to the diamond engagement rings, Venusians are interested in three things:

  • Does it look big?
  • Does it sparkle?
  • Does it look big?

We are not necessarily saying Venusians don’t care about quality. But as long as they can not see any black spots with their naked eye and it does not look yellow, they are not interested in the differences in clarity and color grades, polish or symmetry ratings, or what store you bought it at.

You need to understand that their emphasis on big size does not mean they are greedy or materialistic. Rather, they view the size of their diamond as a physical sign of your love for her. This becomes very important in the fascinating post-engagement ritual of “let’s compare diamonds.” The very first thing your Venusian will be thinking about after you give her the diamond is who she can show the ring to. Everyone will be politely saying how beautiful it is while they are internally comparing it to the size of their diamond.

For you guys thinking you are going to get the perfect diamond (D color, IF clarity) for the perfect girl, maybe your real goal should be to get the diamond your gals will love the most. In most cases, that would be a H color, VS2 clarity stone twice as big for the same dollars.

The size of the diamond takes on meanings other than a sign of your affection. Even though the engagement diamond is often given at the time of lowest combined income for you as a couple, as the years progress her diamond is seen as a measure of your financial success. Once again this status symbol is compared within groups of Venusians at work, on the tennis court, or any other social gathering.

One of the most difficult aspects of buying a diamond engagement ring for a Venusian is the dilemma of trying to make it a surprise and yet making her happy by getting something she absolutely loves. The problem is that you can not take what your Venusian says literally. If she says “You didn’t have to get me flowers” what she really meant was that she loves the flowers and please keep on surprising me with them. Most Venusians are pleasers and will tell you what they think you want to hear rather than what they really feel.

woman-surprisedWhile Venusians like surprises, they also want you to magically know exactly what diamond shape and mounting they want, even if they are not sure themselves. Many of today’s independent women want a say in the piece of jewelry that they will wear on their finger for decades to come. Some feel that if their future husband does not care about what they want, he will not be their future husband.

Venusians are just dying to tell you what size diamond or what kind of mounting they would love, but they fear that would seem too bold, forward, or even just plain greedy. Instead they will make comments like “It doesn’t have to be big” or “I’d be happy with anything you pick out.” Now think about that for a minute. Would you as a Martian like your Venusian to pick out your stereo system, your golf clubs, or your car? A diamond engagement ring is something the Venusian will be wearing every day for years and you want her to be thrilled every time she looks at it. You don’t want her to be thinking of that picture of a ring she had been carrying around in her purse since she was 12 years old that is completely different than the ring you picked out for her. Your goal is to get her the diamond of her dreams, not necessarily what you like.

Let’s talk about the expense of the ring. Quite frankly, the Venusian thinks she is worth a great deal to you or she wouldn’t be considering engagement in the first place. She is going to expect you to come up with what ever money it takes to make her happy because that is what Hollywood, her role models, and probably you have been telling her. She is not going to worry about the cost of the diamond because it is a gift from you to her. She hasn’t had a role in balancing your budget yet so that is not high on her priority list.

While some of these thoughts might seem totally foreign to you, remember that you are a Martian and she is a Venusian. You would be amazed how many Martians think there is something wrong with their Venusian’s ideas about a diamond ring. The reality is that she is acting totally normal for a Venusian and you just don’t recognize it. A word to the wise: This is but the first of many differences you will encounter between Martian and Venusian thinking and the sooner you understand the difference, the sooner your relationship will improve.

A word of caution is warranted when casually shopping with your Venusian. By their very nature, Venusians like the sport of shopping. When they walk by a jewelry store in the mall and point to a ring in the window, it does not mean they want that ring on their finger for the rest of their lives. They are pointing out new and unique things just like you would notice new model cars. You would not necessarily want to own and drive every car you pointed at and your Venusian doesn’t necessarily want to wear every ring she notices.

If your gal has not tried on a mounting and told you it is the ring of her dreams, do not try to guess because we Martians do not think like Venusians. Find out what shape she wants, get the biggest diamond your budget allows and present the diamond in a simple mounting so she can show it off. Then you show her you really care about her opinion by shopping together for the mounting she really love if different than you bought, ensuring she will get the ring she has always wanted.