The differences between men and women have been made famous by author, John Gray, in his book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Over the many years we have been selling diamonds, we have observed the difference between Martians and Venusians is never greater than when it comes to a diamond purchase.
Gals, listen closely and we will tell you some secrets that you need to know about Martians if you want to be thrilled with a diamond.
First of all, Martians have a completely different perspective to this purchase than you. When it comes to the diamond, Martians are interested in three things:
- They want to make a good investment
- They want to make you happy
- They fear disappointing you or worse yet, rejection
On all three counts, Martians get into a panic mode when buying a diamond because they have never played this game before and the stakes are high.
You need to understand that the Martian is driven by fear of making a mistake. Their pride and desire to surprise you prohibit them from asking your advice on what you would like to wear on your finger every day for the rest of your life. Instead they will take the typical Martian approach of applying logic to what is a very emotional decision.
A Martian will attack shopping for a diamond like any other problem they will face. They will research the subject, gather all the facts, and then make a logical decision. Because they might not have a clue about what you would like they will put their focus on what is a good investment. They will try to get the highest quality diamond possible because they think higher quality means better value even if they have to sacrifice size. After all, they reason you have a small finger and a big diamond would not look right.
The Martian’s first stop is probably the local mall jewelry store they have walked by for years but never ventured in. They look at some engagement rings in the display case that have more zeros in the price than in the price of their car and they panic. You have to remember this is the first time in their life they have spent significant dollars on someone else. Sure they wanted to make you happy but they had no idea it was going to be so expensive.
When they finally get up enough nerve to ask the jeweler some questions about diamonds, they suddenly realize they know nothing about jewelry. Ask them about sports, cars or music and they are comfortable because they are on their own turf. Ask them about white gold or yellow gold, round or radiant shapes, or your ring size and they don’t have a clue. They will feel a little more comfortable when the jeweler explains the four C’s (color, clarity, cut, carat weight) because these are more logical concepts. Because the jeweler behind the counter owns the store, your Martian assumes they must be an expert and that everything they are saying is for the Martian’s benefit. After all, don’t experts like teachers and doctors always tell the truth? Now that your Martian has found something in their comfort zone, they start thinking in terms of clarity, color, cut, certification, fluorescence, and a host of other technical terms you could care less about.
The Martian’s shopping process becomes intense because they know just enough about the jewelry industry to know that there are fake diamonds, exaggerated quality grades, and switched stones. Now the fear of making an expensive mistake begins to cloud the reason they went shopping in the first place. They forget that their primary goal was to make you happy and they have now changed the priority to avoiding making an expensive mistake. They will search for an education on the internet, in brochures from the jewelry store, and anywhere else they can find information on diamonds.
Throughout this process another alarm is sounding in the Martian’s head. The prices they are seeing on even the average engagement rings are probably double or triple what they thought they could afford when they started shopping. Again, panic sets in as they realize they are going to have to spend more money than they thought and will likely get much less diamond than they had hoped.
Okay gals, here is where you can help yourself to get the diamond of your dreams. If you understand what your Martian is going through, you realize he needs all the help he can get. If he is bound and determined to make this a “total” surprise, you have to let him know what you would like in any subtle way you can think of. But first you need to know what you would be thrilled with. Go out and shop by yourself and decide on the following:
- What shape and size diamond do you love?
- What kind of mounting would excite you (solitaire, side stones, style)?
- What metal in the ring (yellow gold, white gold, platinum)?
- What is your ring finger size?
Don’t make the mistake of dropping the wrong hints. You would be surprised how many Martian’s are hanging on your every word with regard to a ring. If you happen to point to one in a window, your Martian assumes you want that exact ring even if you were only making a casual comment and would really want one completely different to wear every day. Comments like “I don’t need a big diamond” or “I’ll be happy with anything you get me” can have a very dramatic impact on what ring you will be wearing.
Once you know what you would love, carefully drop hints that give your Martian enough information to find the diamond of your dreams. A little surprise is fine, but whatever help you can give will come back to bless you for years to come because the ring will be on your finger. Many couples now shop together for their engagement ring. They feel that since they have discussed getting engaged, being married and sharing their lives together, that shopping for their ring will be one of those shared experiences. Many couples go ring shopping together so the gal can point out her favorite shapes and mountings, knowledge the guy can use to buy the ring and still make it a surprise.
Besides helping your Martian out with some of the above information, the single most important thing you can do to ensure the diamond of your dreams is to tell your Martian about the Diamond Source of Virginia. The education and prices he will find on this web site will help ensure that you get the biggest and nicest ring his budget can afford.
The bottom line is that your Martian is trying to do all the right things to make you happy. Unfortunately, he is a Martian and will most likely plod along in the traditional Martian way. Be patient and please appreciate all the agony he is going through to make you proud of him when he presents you with your diamond. Good luck and please let us know if these thoughts have been of any help to you and your Martian.